I ask all perusers of this blog to join with me and help spread the word about a travesty of such cruelty that is being perpetrated not only in our country, but also around the world. Yes, I'm talking about the sales of mittens.
I know many people who would never purchase a rabbit's foot keychain. Everytime I see a three-legged bunny it gives me pause to think about how some assclown is walking around with that poor creatures foot attached to his keys under the guise that it will bring him "good luck".
The same goes for mittens. It has been in the past couple of hours that I was able to deduce why cats are running rampant across our fair lands. They're looking for their mittens. We all learned in nursery school that kittens without mittens shall receive no pie. And kitties love themselves some pie!
Of course these poor kittens mittens - mittens which were likely stolen from said kittens - are being sold in stores everywhere...especially now that the temperatures are starting to drop. The cats are not able to simply stroll into Target or Wal Mart or The Bon Marche to purchase mittens. Most retail establishments preclude animals entering their stores unless they are service animals.
So the cats have no option but to roam the streets in search of a pair of mittens that somebody has discarded haphazardly alongside the road. All for the sake of a getting a piece of pie.
So please...spread the word. DO NOT BUY MITTENS!!!
Better yet, take the money you would have purchased mittens with and use it to buy some pie to give the poor roaming kitties. They can has cheezburger...but they'd really prefer pie.