FEY-dar: "Generalissimo" [30 Rock ep. 3.10]

This is the BEST episode of the season thus far. Alec Baldwin will receive another Emmy nomination for this one.

BREAKING NEWS: Rizz reads my email on-air

Each morning during the final 30 minutes of Tony Rizzo's show the syndicated Bloomberg Sports Business Update runs. The Update runs around three minutes and provides news about one or two major business sports items. The anchors that do the update have a very Ted Baxter-ish delivery and are apparently unaware of the humor their updates generate.

Last month when the Cleveland Browns fired head coach Romeo Crennel there was a piece about it on the Update. But the anchor mispronounced Crennel's last name [putting the emphasis on the first sylable instead of the other way around]. This became a running joke on Rizzo's show and they would play a drop of the anchor's mispronunciation anytime someone on Rizzo's show mispronounced a name or encountered a name with a difficult pronunciation.

This morning the Update was about Michael Phelps continuing fallout over the photo of him that made the rounds last weekend:
The report covered Phelps' three month suspension by the US Swim Team. But then the report got better.

Phelps appeared on boxes of Kellogg's Corn Flakes and the cereal company was none too thrilled about the photo. They cancelled their endorsement agreement with Phelps. When the Update covered this development they began with "Phelps also took a hit". I was in near tears I was laughing so hard. I couldn't believe that the anchor read that with a straight face. So I sent the following email to Rizz:

Hey Rizz...Who writes the scripts for those sports business updates? Those little updates consistently provide some hearty laughs. The Crennel mispronunciation from last month...and now today's. The guy's reading about Michael Phelps being photographed appearing to smoke a marijuana pipe. Then later in the same story he starts a sentence with "He also took a hit" and I laughed hysterically. Play that again...THAT'S funny.

And he did. And they laughed and played the Crennel drop and assorted water pipe sounds. It's good to be alive!!!

Farewell: Lux Interior [10.21..1946 - 2.4.2009]

With great sadness I have just learned of the passing of Lux Interior, lead singer of seminal psychobilly/punk band The Cramps.

Lux Interior, lead singer of The Cramps, passed away this morning due
to an existing heart condition at Glendale Memorial Hospital in
Glendale, California at 4:30 AM PST today. Lux has been an
inspiration and influence to millions of artists and fans around the
world. He and wife Poison Ivy's contributions with The Cramps have
had an immeasurable impact on modern music.

The Cramps emerged from the original New York punk scene of CBGB and
Max's Kansas City, with a singular sound and iconography. Their
distinct take on rockabilly and surf along with their midnight movie
imagery reminded us all just how exciting, dangerous, vital and sexy
rock and roll should be and has spawned entire subcultures. Lux was a
fearless frontman who transformed every stage he stepped on into a
place of passion, abandon, and true freedom. He is a rare icon who
will be missed dearly.

The family requests that you respect their privacy during this
difficult time.

I saw The Cramps several times over the years. I even once had the pleasure of sharing a bill with them during my dancing days. I can think of major events in my life that somehow involved a Cramps concert: one of the first dates I went on with one of the former Bad Gal Zeros was to a Cramps concert. That same concert was also the last time I saw my friend Pepe [singer for Loco Gringos] alive. He died of an overdose a couple of days later. The Cramps were the band I and another former Bad Gal Zero had gone to see on the night I had a major optic injury that sort of/pretty much paved the way for the creation of Bad Kid Zero. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who has memorable moments that involved The Cramps.
Lux was a hell of a frontman. I can't think of a single show where he didn't give 100%. One of my cherished rock mementos is a microphone that he destroyed during a show at Trees in the early 90s.
Farewell Lux. You came and gave it your all and in doing so touched the lives of many, many people in ways you probably didn't even imagine. Stay sick!

Genius alert!

Yesterday somebody told me about this website called Garfield Minus Garfield. It's one of the funniest things I've seen in some time. I won't ruin the schtick for you...it's well worth a visit. Check it out. NOW!

BREAKING NEWS: Rizz reads my email on-air

It's a day shy of being three months since Rizz last read one of my emails on-air. So it is with great enthusiasm that I announce that at 11:09 CT [Cleveland Time] the following email was read:

Hey Rizz...Has Hellboy tried chewing on a plug of tobacco while receiving a peanut butter enema? That sounds as plausible a remedy as some of the others your listeners are recommending.

PS: "California Man" by Cheap Trick [originally by The Move] would probably work with some cowbell.

I think some back story is in order.

Jeff "Hellboy" Thomas [he does the morning "Sportscenter" updates on ESPN Cleveland] is currently afflicted with a kidney stone. Various listeners have been calling in with assorted remedies ranging from drinking 72 ounces of Coca Cola and eating raw cabbage to chewing on lemons. My suggestion seemed as ridiculous as any of those. Besides, peanut butter enema is fun to say.

Rizz was given a cowbell several months back and has been playing along on-air to such cowbell classics as "Mississippi Queen" and "Working For the Weekend". I think the Cheap Trick song has good cowbell potential. I'll update if he gives it an attempt.

Return of the Fiend Club

Misfits fans rejoice! The band's official fan club has risen from the dead. This event has set off a flurry of rumors regarding a possible reunion next year. With Glen Danzig. Catch the Danzig-less Misfits on one of the following dates:

11/12/08	DENVER, CO @ CERVANTES
11/14/08	SPOKANE, WA @ KNITTING FACTORY
11/15/08	SEATTLE, WA @ STUDIO SEVEN
11/17/08	SAN FRANCISCO, CA @ SLIMS
11/18/08	WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA @ HOUSE OF BLUES
11/19/08	SAN DIEGO, CA @ HOUSE OF BLUES
11/20/08	SCOTTSDALE, AZ @ VENUE OF SCOTTSDALE
11/21/08	VENTURA, CA @ VENTURA THEATER
11/22/08	MEXICALI, MEXICO @ CENTRO DE ESPETACULOS
11/23/08	ANAHEIM, CA @ HOUSE OF BLUES
11/24/08	FLAGSTAFF, AZ @ ORPHEUM THEATER
11/26/08	DALLAS, TX @ GRANADA THEATER
11/27/08	OKLAHOMA CITY, OK @ DIAMOND BALLROOM
11/28/08	CORPUS CHRISTI, TX @ AYERS EVENT CENTER
11/29/08	HOUSTON, TX @ MERIDIAN
11/30/08	SAN ANTONIO, TX @ WHITE RABBIT
12/01/08	NEW ORLEANS, LA @ HOUSE OF BLUES
12/03/08	KNOXVILLE, TN @ VALARIUM
12/05/08	ST. PETERSBURG, FL @ JANNUS LANDING
12/06/08	ORLANDO, FL @ CLUB FIRESTONE
12/07/08	FT. LAUDERDALE, FL @ CULTURE ROOM
12/09/08	ATLANTA, GA @ MASQUERADE
12/10/08	HILTON HEAD, SC @ SHORELINE BALLROOM
12/11/08	BALTIMORE, MD @ BEDROCK
12/12/08	PITTSBURGH, PA @ MR SMALLS
12/13/08	POUGHKEEPSIE, NY @ THE CHANCE

REMINDER: It's Thursday...30 Rock tonight!!!

And once again I will be taping it since I'll be watching the Browns [hopefully] defeat the Denver Broncos along with the other members of the Browns Backers Worldwide chapter that I belong to.

In case you weren't aware of this...Oprah is on 30 Rock.

Tracy: Winfrey or Billingham?
Jack: You know someone named Oprah Billingham?
Tracy: No.

Ok...so that's not from the script. It's a slight alteration of a Season One scene where Jack mentions Arsenio and Tracy asks "Hall or Billingham?" This was the same episode that contained the following exchange:

Tracy: I'm gonna make you a mix tape. You like Phil Collins?
Jack: I have two ears and a heart, don't I?