SSFM: My Bloody Valentine is coming to Dallas!!!

Ohmygawd...I just found out about this show.

APRIL 22 @ The Palladium Ballroom

This is one of only four shows they're doing in the U.S. [Austin, Denver, and Seattle will also be granced by their presence this go-round]. No longer will I have to be envious of my friends in Chicago who got to see them last year.

One more thing...if you're now planning on attending this show I have a piece of advice to pass along: bring earplugs. This show is going to be LOUD!!!

Browns release Joe Jurevicius

I'M PISSED!

The Browns announced the release of veteran wide receiver Joe Jurevicius Wednesday night.

A veteran of 10 NFL seasons who grew up in Northeast Ohio rooting for the Browns, Jurevicius signed with his hometown team prior to 2006. He was a key contributor in 2006 and 2007 but missed all of 2008 while recuperating from multiple knee procedures.

He had another procedure in December and said then he hoped to return for 2009.

"These types of decisions are always difficult ones, especially with someone like Joe, who has meant a great deal to the Cleveland Browns organization and to the fans of Cleveland," Browns General Manager George Kokinis said."Eric (Mangini) and I have had extensive conversations with Joe and his representatives.In the end we were unable to reach an agreement that was in the best interests of both parties.We want to thank Joe for his contributions to the Browns and wish him the best of luck in the future."

For his career, he has caught 323 passes for 4,119 yards and 29 touchdowns. He's played in three Super Bowls - with the Giants, Bucs and Seahawks - and also won a state championship at Mentor Lake Catholic High School before playing at Penn State.

He caught 40 passes for 495 yards and 3 touchdowns with the Browns in 2006, and he caught 50 passes for 614 yards and 3 touchdowns in 2007.

Joe was one of the best-loved Browns players. He has always played with a ton of heart. I know I'm not the only one who felt that the 2008 season might have had better results had Joe been able to play. I was certainly looking forward to him returning to the field later this year. Well, I suppose he still will, just with another team. Good luck to you, Joe. You deserved better than this.

BREAKING NEWS: Rizz reads my email on-air

Hey Rizz...I'm sure the Browns marketing department [what's left of it anyway] is busy scripting a new commercial to reach out to the Browns fans who, like you, have given up on the team.  It'll feature Robert Royal standing outside your window hoisting a boombox over his head that's blasting the Michael Stanley Band's "Hard Die the Heroes" [theme from Masters of the Gridiron].  It's good to be alive!!!

He read the email just before a commercial break.  When the show came back they were playing Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" as bumper music.  T-R-E-frikkin'-mendous!!!

BREAKING NEWS: Rizz reads my email on-air

Hey Rizz...just wanted to pass along congrats to Hammer for landing the eagle. Couple of questions:

1. Was there an Amber Alert involved?
2. If this landing occurred on Saturday night [Valentines Day], how drunk was she?

It's good to be alive!

The backstory: Aaron Goldhammer - programming director of WKNR and co-host of The Really Big Show with Tony Rizzo - had been carrying on a long-distance relationship with a gal named Rachel. They split up back before the holidays last year. Rizz began asking Hammer on a daily basis for and "eagle update" which generally went something like this:

Rizz: Hammer, has the eagle landed?
Aaron: NnnnnOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

This morning Rizz teased a big announcement to occur during the 11am hour [Cleveland time]. The big news was that Aaron had landed the eagle.
Aaron picks out the bumper music played on the show and it's generally the type of stuff I imagine gets a lot of airplay on Disney Radio. And as you may recall from the first email of mine Rizz read on-air Hammer loves the Jonas Brothers. So that's why I asked if an Amber Alert was involved.
But more importantly, my second question led to the revelation that, yes, the landing took place on Saturday night. And yes, the girl was drunk. Hammer claims it's a girl that he sort of knows. Apparently he ran into her on the sidewalk after leaving a popular Cleveland bar.

So there you go. On-air email number three this year. I'm on a roll!!!

FEY-dar: "Generalissimo" [30 Rock ep. 3.10]

This is the BEST episode of the season thus far. Alec Baldwin will receive another Emmy nomination for this one.

BREAKING NEWS: Rizz reads my email on-air

Each morning during the final 30 minutes of Tony Rizzo's show the syndicated Bloomberg Sports Business Update runs. The Update runs around three minutes and provides news about one or two major business sports items. The anchors that do the update have a very Ted Baxter-ish delivery and are apparently unaware of the humor their updates generate.

Last month when the Cleveland Browns fired head coach Romeo Crennel there was a piece about it on the Update. But the anchor mispronounced Crennel's last name [putting the emphasis on the first sylable instead of the other way around]. This became a running joke on Rizzo's show and they would play a drop of the anchor's mispronunciation anytime someone on Rizzo's show mispronounced a name or encountered a name with a difficult pronunciation.

This morning the Update was about Michael Phelps continuing fallout over the photo of him that made the rounds last weekend:
The report covered Phelps' three month suspension by the US Swim Team. But then the report got better.

Phelps appeared on boxes of Kellogg's Corn Flakes and the cereal company was none too thrilled about the photo. They cancelled their endorsement agreement with Phelps. When the Update covered this development they began with "Phelps also took a hit". I was in near tears I was laughing so hard. I couldn't believe that the anchor read that with a straight face. So I sent the following email to Rizz:

Hey Rizz...Who writes the scripts for those sports business updates? Those little updates consistently provide some hearty laughs. The Crennel mispronunciation from last month...and now today's. The guy's reading about Michael Phelps being photographed appearing to smoke a marijuana pipe. Then later in the same story he starts a sentence with "He also took a hit" and I laughed hysterically. Play that again...THAT'S funny.

And he did. And they laughed and played the Crennel drop and assorted water pipe sounds. It's good to be alive!!!

Farewell: Lux Interior [10.21..1946 - 2.4.2009]

With great sadness I have just learned of the passing of Lux Interior, lead singer of seminal psychobilly/punk band The Cramps.

Lux Interior, lead singer of The Cramps, passed away this morning due
to an existing heart condition at Glendale Memorial Hospital in
Glendale, California at 4:30 AM PST today. Lux has been an
inspiration and influence to millions of artists and fans around the
world. He and wife Poison Ivy's contributions with The Cramps have
had an immeasurable impact on modern music.

The Cramps emerged from the original New York punk scene of CBGB and
Max's Kansas City, with a singular sound and iconography. Their
distinct take on rockabilly and surf along with their midnight movie
imagery reminded us all just how exciting, dangerous, vital and sexy
rock and roll should be and has spawned entire subcultures. Lux was a
fearless frontman who transformed every stage he stepped on into a
place of passion, abandon, and true freedom. He is a rare icon who
will be missed dearly.

The family requests that you respect their privacy during this
difficult time.

I saw The Cramps several times over the years. I even once had the pleasure of sharing a bill with them during my dancing days. I can think of major events in my life that somehow involved a Cramps concert: one of the first dates I went on with one of the former Bad Gal Zeros was to a Cramps concert. That same concert was also the last time I saw my friend Pepe [singer for Loco Gringos] alive. He died of an overdose a couple of days later. The Cramps were the band I and another former Bad Gal Zero had gone to see on the night I had a major optic injury that sort of/pretty much paved the way for the creation of Bad Kid Zero. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who has memorable moments that involved The Cramps.
Lux was a hell of a frontman. I can't think of a single show where he didn't give 100%. One of my cherished rock mementos is a microphone that he destroyed during a show at Trees in the early 90s.
Farewell Lux. You came and gave it your all and in doing so touched the lives of many, many people in ways you probably didn't even imagine. Stay sick!