Bad Guy Zero's GUIDE TO LIFE

DIMMU BORGIR @ House of Blues

2010-12-13T09:54:00.000-08:00

Here's video of a couple of songs Dimmu Borgir played during the encore of there show last Monday at House of Blues in Dallas.

I'll post photos later this week.

BRUCE ROBISON & KELLY WILLIS - Oklahoma Christmas

2010-12-07T10:14:00.000-08:00

Bruce Robison and Kelly Willis kicked off their annual "holiday shows" tour this past Saturday at Gruene Hall. They performed songs from their albums while sprinkling in holiday-related tunes such as "Baby It's Cold Outside," "Santa Baby," and "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." Of course no holiday show would be complete without "Oklahoma Christmas" - a song based on Bruce's first Christmas dinner with Kelly's family.

THANKSKILLING [Live-Tweeted Flick]

2010-11-25T17:50:00.000-08:00

Today The Bloggess blogged about Netflix recommending a movie called Thankskilling to her. Surprisingly I had watched this movie in the wee hours of September 21 and live-tweeted my reaction. Below are the tweets. CONTAINS NUMEROUS SPOILERS.

"The year is 1621. The olden days."

"Moments after the very first Thanksgiving..."

First thing seen in this movie is a close-up of a boob. I'm sold!

Hold on...hold on. We have another boob! Yay!!!

Camera pans up and...WOAH...butterface alert!

I guess I'm being harsh. I bet most of the pilgrim women were butterfaces.

Screaming in the distance. Now butterface is running.

Hello monstervision! I bet this monster is a Prince fan 'cause the screen's tinted purple.

Hmm...a talking turkey with an axe. Cue opening credits. #Thankskilling

I don't recognize any of these people's names.

General Bastard and Wanda Lust are in this. Whoever the eff they are. @Thankskilling

Now there's some Tom Petty-inspired song and a shot of a school. What year is it?

Second pair of boobs. Too bad they're man boobs.

Chubby walked out of the school and ripped his t-shirt open he's so excited about Thanksgiving break. WTF???

Ok...this brunette is talking like a Valley Girl. So it's gotta be at least 1982.

1982 being the year that the song "Valley Girl" was released.

Cars are late 90s/early 00s

You want to know what would make this movie allsome right now? More boobs!

'Cause this thing has hit a lull.

There's some guy that looks like Phil Anslemo (sp?) Walking around in the woods with a collie named Flashie.

Flashie's wandering off. Now there's a close-up of a small totem pole in the woods. #Thankskilling

Flashie just peed on the totem pole. I predict that hijinks will soon ensue!

The earth is shaking.

A talking turkey just popped-up out of the ground! #Thankskilling

The talking turkey just killed Flashie...I think.

Some guy in a law enforcement sitting at a dining table. His wife gives him a cup of coffee.

This guys mustache looks super fake. "Goddamn Cheryl! That coffee tastes like shit! What'd you do? Take a dump in it?"

CHERYL (holding up a coffee pot with a pile of poo in it): "As a matter of fact I sure did. I WANT A FUCKING DIVORCE!"

Top-notch writing on display here folks. #Thankskilling

High school students in a Jeep. The engine just made a popping sound and now it's smoking.

"We got tents! And beer! Let's party here tonight!"#Thankskilling

Apparently these kids have never seen a horror movie.#Thankskilling

Whatever you do don't call someone to come fix or tow the Jeep. #Thankskilling

Yeah...full moon. These kids are going to die. #Thankskilling

And so far everyone in this movie is white. So there's not going to be a dead person of minority to tip them off that a killer lurks

Nerdy guy just found a sign that reads "CRAWBERG."#Thankskilling

NERDY GUY: "Crawberg? Where have I heard of that before?" Now he's running into the woods after the other kids.

So Nerdy Guy is about to fill us in on Crawberg. It's apparently part of "one of the most notorious moments in pilgrim history."

Now there's a crudely animated sequence illustrating Nerdy Guy's tale about an Indian (feather) who necromanced a turkey to kill white folk.

Ok...I'm starting to get a little scared now. #notreally #Thankskilling

So this killer turkey rises every 505 years to kill white people. Nerdy guy just pointed out that it will be 505 years in 45 minutes.

So if the killer turkey was on the loose in 1621 and won't be back for 505 years that means this movie takes place in the year 2126.

I'm 99.9% certain that it's not the year 2126 in this movie.#Thankskilling

Now the Phil lookalike is wandering the woods calling out for Flashie.

He just found Flashie's body. The talking turkey is there too. He doesn't seem fazed by the talking turkey.

TURKEY: "I took this here axe and axe-identally cut him. Get it? AXE-ident!" #Thankskilling

Phil lookalike just shot at and missed the talking turkey.

Teenager with a cellphone remembers that she needs to call her dad (the sheriff). She goes into the woods because she has no reception at the campsite. Maybe she's a #T-Mobile customer too.

TURKEYVISION!!!

The girl just came upon the talking turkey. TALKING TURKEY: "I'm going to drink your blood like cranberry sauce!" #Thankskilling

I kid you not! That's what the talking turkey said! #Thankskilling

Kristen (sheriff's daughter) runs back to the campsite. KRISTEN: "You were right Darren (nerdy guy). There is an evil turkey on the loose."

An obviously plush bunny just flew out of the woods and landed in the campfire.

FAT GUY: "Demonic turkey. Gutted animals. Yeah, let's sleep on it. Great idea."

Billy (the fat guy) just made a pass at Valley Girl who told him to feel up his own boobs. #Thankskilling

Now it's the next morning and Billy wakes up to find the Phil lookalike crouched next to him.

Phil lookalike tells Billy that he kept the turkey from pecking his heart out. Billy doesn't believe him so Phil lookalike points out the "turkey droppings" on Billy's sleeping bag. The droppings look like dog food. #Thankskilling

Now that the sun is up they're magically able to fix the Jeep.

KRISTEN:"Johnny, I'm sorry for the things I said last night. I guess I was a little beaked-out...I mean freaked-out by the turkey."

Some guy that looks like Darren just pulled up to the talking turkey standing on the side of the road.

DARREN LOOKALIKE (after reaching across and opening passenger door): "Ass, gas or grass!" #Thankskilling

TALKING TURKEY: "Well, I'm not a gas so I guess I'll take ass." The turkey gets in the car and pulls a shotgun out.

OHMYGAWD...the talking turkey shot that guy. Now he's driving off in the guy's car! #Thankskilling

Another joke about the JonBenet Ramsey case. This movie's humor is cutting-edge and timely. #notreally #Thankskilling

And we've reached another lull.

So Johnny was outside talking to his dad. The killer turkey shows up and cuts Dad's head off with a hunting knife, tells Johnny to go deep and tosses the head to him. Now the turkey is smoking the cigar that Johnny's dad had been smoking. #Thankskilling

Johnny's mom is dead too.

The turkey's at Valley Girl's house. He just opened her bedroom door and she's getting banged doggy-style by some guy...while fully clothed.

TURKEY (looking at the camera): "Pink pumpkin pie!" #Thankskilling

The turkey killed the guy and is now banging Valley Girl. #Thanksgiving

Valley Girl looks back over her shoulder to discover she's being banged by a turkey. TURKEY: "You just got stuffed!" #Thankskilling

The turkey just broke Valley Girl's neck! I think she's dead.

Now Valley Girl's friends come by to check on her. She's dead. Another JonBenet joke. #Thankskilling

BILLY: "We've gotta find a way to kill that cock-blockin' turkey." Indeed!

So the gang is off to look through books to find a way to kill the talking turkey, How is it they have cameraphones but no internet???

The technological inconsistencies are as mind-boggling as figuring out how the turkey can talk and hold weapons and drive. #Thankskilling

Now the turkey is at the sheriff's door wearing Groucho glasses. And for some reason the sheriff is dressed like a turkey. #Thankskilling

The turkey is in the house and sitting at the dining table having hazelnut coffee with the sheriff.

The sheriff called the turkey an "odd little duck" and the turkey snapped and killed him. #Thankskilling

Now the gang is at Kristen's house. The turkey answers the door disguised as the sheriff. Nobody seems to realize that it OBVIOUSLY IS NOT THE SHERIFF. #Thankskilling

The only way to kill the turkey is by removing its magical talisman. #Thankskilling

Billy stumbled upon the turkey disguised as the sheriff dragging the sheriff's dead body. Billy now knows it's the turkey!

Billy is running to alert Kristen, Johnny and Darren.

They managed to remove the turkey's talisman but the turkey got away before they could kill it. #ThingsINeverThoughtIdTweet #Thankskilling

Now Johnny and Kristen are alone. I bet they have sex!

They were about to kiss but Darren burst in to let them know he figured out how to kill the turkey.

Man, the turkey has a teepee!

According to the book Darren's reading if the turkey isn't in his teepee he's killing one of your friends.

The turkey just killed Billy. TURKEY: "That's what I call foul play!" Get it? Foul=fowl=turkey

Now there's a song about Billy being Darren's best friend. And getting killed by the turkey.

They found the turkey's teepee! #Thankskilling

They said some prayer that stripped the turkey of its invincibility. But the turkey ran away and got shot by the Phil lookalike. #Thankskilling

JOHNNY (talking about the Phil lookalike): "He kinda creeps me out. He's kind of weird."

JOHNNY: "I don't know. He did save oir lives. I guess that makes him cool."

Now they're going to Kristen's to watch a movie. "Night of the Living Dead."

JOHNNY (to Kristen): "In a way I'm glad all this happened. I may have lost my parents but I gained a girlfriend." #Thankskilling

Oh noes...the turkey's back!

When Phil lookalike shot him he landed in a tub of radioactive waste.

He's attacking Darren. #Thankskilling

He just pecked Darren's heart out. Oh noes!

Now the turkey's killing Johnny with an electric carving knife. But Kristen showed up and rescued him.

TURKEYVISION!

Kristen may be killed by the turkey by spraying paint through a cigarette lighter.

Johnny's dead. Kristen seems to have killed the talking turkey for good. #Thankskilling

Oh hells yeah! "To be continued..."

"...in SPACE!" #Thankskilling

I will say this though: #Thankskilling has set a high standard by which all other killer talking turkey movies will be measured.

So there you go. A tweet-by-tweet account of my watching a movie. I've live-tweeted a few other films and continue to do it when time allows. I'll try to post the tweets from the films I previously live-tweeted. Happy Alcoholidays!!!

The Boom Boom Box @ Kessler Theater

2010-08-02T18:27:00.000-07:00

For the past year or so my favorite local band has been The Boom Boom Box. Their music is apocalyptic and epic and at times hopeful. It reminds me of Jesu crossed with The Cure circa Pornography. Seeing them live is a treat. They don't play very often and when they do they are generally illuminated only by four sets of red-tinted florescent lights set about the stage. The focus is on the music.

This past Friday The Boom Boom Box played at Kessler Theater on a bill they shared with the reunited Bobgoblin as well as James Hall & The Futura Bold. Here's some photos I shot during The Boom Boom Box's set [Bobgoblin and James Hall pics are coming later]. Photographing the band can be challenging due to the extremely low light situation [someone at Kessler Theater did turn on some overhead stage lights at various points during the set]. Considering that I don't think these came out terribly bad.

You should have plenty of chances to see The Boom Boom Box in the coming months as they have a new album in the can. In the meantime, head over to iTunes and purchase their EP.

Bruce Robison - Heartache to Houston [Live]

2010-05-31T11:51:00.000-07:00

Here's more video of Bruce at Hank's Texas Grill in McKinney, TX on May 22, 2010. "Heartache to Houston" is the first single from his forthcoming album. Please contat your favorite country/Americana radio station and ask them to add the song to their playlist.

Bruce Robison - The New Me [Live]

2010-05-31T11:50:00.000-07:00

Here's some video I shot of Bruce performing at Hank's Texas Grill in McKinney, TX on May 22, 2010.

A Place To Bury Strangers @ Granada Theater

2010-04-10T15:42:00.000-07:00

Last night A Place to Bury Strangers played the support slot for The Big Pink. I had high expectations for APTBS and I was not disappointed. Their extremely loud set featured the band playing in near darkness back-lit by a handful of video projectors. The relative darkness was shattered by a bank of strobes later in the set during "I Lived My Life To Stand In The Shadow Of Your Heart." Here's some photos I took during their set [plus one of their gear waiting to be loaded back into their vehicle]:

It's Opening Day!!!

2010-04-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

The weeks of spring training have come to an end. The first game of the regular season took place last night [and featured a thrilling come-from-behind victory as the Boston Red Sox defeated the New York Yankees]. But today...TODAY...a full slate of baseball is headed your way. There's a variety of options available to keep up with today's games as well as the other 161 regular season games your favorite team will be playing.

The obvious is local radio and television. Throw in cable/satellite and you should have no problems listening to or watching your local team slug it out on the diamond.

But what if your favorite team isn't your local team. No problem. Major League Baseball will help you out, albeit for a fee.

Pay a visit to MLB's Media Center and you can purchase monthly and season passes for MLB.TV. This will allow you to watch games on your desktop or laptop. The Premium version offers a few perks that'll be well worth the extra few bucks for diehard baseball fans.

For those who want to just listen to the game you're in luck...and for much less than the MLB.TV option. At Bat with Gameday Audio allows you to listen to the home and away broadcasts for every game. You also get a slew of in-game information [box scores; pitch data; player analysis; etc.].

And finally, for those on-the-go types who don't want to have to be tethered to a desktop or laptop, you can listen to games right on many mobile phones. The At Bat 2010 app is available for iPhones, Android phones, and Blackberry phones among others. I have the app on my Android phone and it's well worth the fifteen bucks. The first time you're able to listen to a game while sitting at the airport waiting for your flight to board you'll know what I mean.

The first games of the season are just hours away!

Go Rangers!!!

ATTENTION NERDS: Our Leader Is Hittin' The Road

2010-03-11T10:07:00.000-08:00

A few hours ago Conan O'Brien sent the following message via Twitter:

April 12: Eugene, OR @ Hult Center for the Performing Arts
April 13: Vancouver, BC Canada @ Orpheum Theater
April 16: Spokane, WA @ INB Performing Arts Center
April 17: Enoch, AB Canada @ River Cree Resort & Casino
April 18: Seattle, WA @ Seattle Center, Marion Oliver McCaw Hall
April 22: San Francisco, CA @ Nob Hill Masonic Center
April 23: San Francisco, CA @ Nob Hill Masonic Center
April 24: Universal City, CA @ Gibson Amphitheater
April 29: San Diego, CA @ San Diego Civic Theater
April 30: Phoenix, AZ @ Dodge Theater
May 1: Las Vegas, NV @ Pearl Concert Theater at The Palms
May 4: Reno, NV @ Grand Sierra Resort & Casino
May 5: San Jose, CA @ San Jose State University Events Center
May 6: Sacramento, CA @ Sacramento Memorial Auditorium
May 9: Boulder, CO @ Mackey Auditorium
May 10: Denver, CO @ Ellie Caulkins Opera House
May 13: Dallas, TX @ McFarlin Memorial Auditorium
May 14: Austin, TX @ Austin Music Hall
May 15: Tulsa, OK @ Brady Theater
May 16: Kansas City, MO @ Midland Theater
May 18: Minneapolis, MN @ Orpheum Theater
May 19: Chicago, IL @ Chicago Theater
May 20: Chicago, IL @ Chicago Theater
May 22: Toronto, ON Canada @ Massey Hall
May 30: Atlantic City, NJ @ Borgata Spa & Resort Event Center
June 1: New York, NY @ Radio City Music Hall
June 2: New York, NY @ Radio City Music Hall
June 4: Boston, MA @ Wang Theater
June 5: Boston, MA @ Wang Theater
June 6: Uncasville, CT @ Mohegan Sun Arena
June 7: Upper Darby, PA @ Tower Theater
June 8: Washington, DC @ Constitution Hall
June 11: Manchester, TN @ Bonnaroo Music Festival
June 14: Atlanta, GA @ Fox Theater

There are assorted VIP and Meet & Greet packages available. Look for second shows to be added in cities where the schedule permits.

He's in Dallas a couple of days after my birthday so I'm hoping to score tickets to that show.

MUSE at SXSW

2010-03-10T08:13:00.000-08:00

Multiple music-related outlets are abuzz this morning over a rumor that MUSE will be performing at Stubb's in Austin on March 20. According to Pollstar, the band is playing Houston on March 18 with their next-scheduled show being in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada on March 29. Stubb's event calendar has Minus the Bear and The Drums playing on March 20. Of course it doesn't mention whether that show is taking place on the indoor or outdoor stage. Metric is being mentioned as the opening act for Muse. They have a show in Tempe, Arizona on March 17 with their next show scheduled for March 21 in Seattle, Washington.

Regardless of where or when the Muse show takes place - assuming it does take place - it will be a rare opportunity to see this band in a club setting. And that's exactly part of why South by Southwest has the reputation it does.

I'll be in Cleveland on March 20, most likely at a Lake Erie Monsters game. If you happen to make it to the Muse show let me know what I missed.

MELVINS Album Title And Release Date Announced

2010-03-09T17:34:00.000-08:00

The Melvins have announced that The Bride Screamed Murder will be released on June 1, 2010.

That's the same day they hit the road. Melvins fans in San Diego will be cramming to decipher the album's lyrics in time for the show at The Casbah. Click here to view tour dates, cities, and venues.

Bruce Robison - What Would Willie Do? [Live]

2010-02-28T14:40:00.001-08:00

Bruce Robison @ Granada Theater

2010-02-28T11:59:00.000-08:00

Bruce played the support slot for last night's Band of Heathens show. Here's some pics of Bruce including a few of him and Jamie Wilson of The Trishas performing "Angry All the Time."

Melvins Summer Tour Dates

2010-02-27T14:33:00.000-08:00

My absolute favorite band just finished working on their newest record. The title and release date have yet to be revealed. But I'm willing to bet it's out before they hit the road on June 1.

June 1: San Diego, CA @ The Casbah
June 2: Tempe, AZ @ The Clubhouse
June 3: Albuquerque, NM @ Launch Pad
June 5: Austin, TX @ Emo's
June 7: Houston, TX @ Warehouse Live
June 8: Baton Rouge, LA @ Spanish Moon
June 9: New Orleans, LA @ One Eyed Jacks
June 10: Birmingham, AL @ Bottle Tree
June 12: Manchester, TN @ Bonnaroo Festival
June 14: Athens, GA @ 40 Watt Club
June 16: Washington, DC @ 9:30 Club
June 17: Philadelphia, PA @ T.L.A.
June 18: New York, NY @ Webster Hall
June 19: Brooklyn, NY @ Music Hall of Williamsburg
June 20: Boston, MA @ Paradise
June 21: Boston, MA @ Paradise
June 23: Cleveland, OH @ Grog Shop
June 24: Detroit, MI @ Small's
June 25: Chicago, IL @ Double Door
June 26: Madison, WI @ High Noon Saloon
June 27: Des Moines, IA @ House of Bricks
June 29: Denver, CO @ Ogden Theatre
July 2: Calgary, Alberta @ Sled Island Festival
July 3: Calgary, Alberta @ Sled Island Festival
July 5: Vancouver, British Columbia @ Rickshaw Theatre
July 6: Seattle, WA @ Showbox at the Market
July 7: Eugene, OR @ John Henry's
July 9: San Jose, CA @ Blank Club

Looks like I'll be driving down to Austin [and maybe Houston too].

WATAIN NEWS!!!

2010-02-26T09:38:00.000-08:00

At last...the long wait is almost over. It's been three years since Watain released their stellar third album Sworn to the Dark. This morning Season of Mist sent out the following press release:

Swedish black metal kings WATAIN just completed their fourth full-length album, after two intense months at Necromorbus Studio! Vocalist and mastermind E. comments: "I am now holding in my hand the final master tape of what might be the most dynamic and charged WATAIN release ever recorded. May the gods unto which it is written be pleased! We are very much looking forward to share this rich feast with our followers, whom we know have been hungering for a very long time. All I can say is that it will be worth the wait. We raise our cups unto all of you whose patience and support have been constant during the three fiery years since the release of "Sworn to the Dark", and look forward to set the night aflame with you again soon!" The unveiling of WATAIN's fourth monument will take place on June 7th, under ceremonial circumstances yet to be revealed. In collaboration with Sweden Rock Magazine and Season of Mist, WATAIN have put together a special CD that all subscribers of the magazine will get with issue #70 (out April 6th). The CD consists of a cover of BATHORY's "The Return of Darkness and Evil" as well as the brand new track "Reaping Death", from WATAIN's upcoming album, which title is yet to be announced. Last but not least, WATAIN will release a single entitled "Reaping Death". It will be released as a picture 7" EP on Walpurgisnacht. This single will feature the track "Reaping Death", along with a special B side.

Three month and change seems so far away at this point. But I know it'll be worth the wait.

Watain will be appearing May 28 in Baltimore, MD as part of Maryland Deathfest.

The Skill of Gymnastics...The Kill of Karate!!!

2010-02-25T09:05:00.000-08:00

I'm a big fan of movies that are so bad that they're great. Take Gymkata for example. It's fail is so epic that it becomes full of win. And that's why when I found a set of French lobby cards on eBay for FIVE BUCKS I was all over it. The set arrived in today's mail.

This envelope's humble appearance belies the greatness contained within!

The card above is awesome. It's from the film's most infamous scene:

If you'd like to learn more about Gymkata click here. Purchase the DVD here. Once it arrives, invite some friends over to play...

You might want to have an ambulance waiting in the driveway.

1349 - New Album Details

2010-02-23T12:56:00.001-08:00

1349 released the following statement on their website:

Prosthetic Records is proud to announce the release of the brand new album from Norwegian black metal legends 1349 in North America via an agreement with Indie Recordings. The new album, which promises a return to their more traditional raw, yet technical black metal sound, is slated for an April 13, 2010 release. In support of the yet to be titled record, the band will be supporting Cannibal Corpse in April and May along with Skeletonwitch and Lecherous Nocturne. (Note, 1349 are not on the last week of the tour; the following are only dates featuring 1349.)
Decibel & Metal Sucks Present in association with BC Rich Guitars & Iron Fist Clothing
The Evisceration Plague Tour featuring CANNIBAL CORPSE, w/1349, Skeletonwitch, & Lecherous Nocturne
Tue/Apr-20 Orlando, FL Club @ Firestone
Wed/Apr-21 Atlanta, GA Masquerade
Thu/Apr-22 Raleigh, NC Volume 11 Tavern
Fri/Apr-23 Springfield, VA JAXX
Sat/Apr-24 Worcester, MA Palladium (Metal Fest)
Sun/Apr-25 Long Island, NY Crazy Donkey
Tue/Apr-27 Montreal, QC Club Soda
Wed/Apr-28 Toronto, ON Opera House
Thu/Apr-29 Chicago, IL House of Blues
Fri/Apr-30 Milwaukee, WI Eagles Club
Sat/May-01 St. Paul, MN Station 4
Sun/May-02 Lawrence, KS Granada Theater
Mon/May-03 Denver, CO Gothic
Wed/May-05 San Francisco, CA Slim’s
Thu/May-06 Los Angeles, CA House Of Blues
More information regarding the release, as well as 1349 headline dates will be announced in the coming weeks.
The band, who were formed in 1997 from the ashes of the band Alvheim and features Frost of Satyricon on drums, and take their name from the year the Black Plague reached Norway, have toured with the likes of Celtic Frost, Carcass, Suffocation, Aborted, among others and will appear at this year’s Wacken and Summer Breeze Festivals. 1349’s record “Hellfire” received critical acclaim from music outlets worldwide and was considered an instant classic.

Prosthetic Records sent out a press release with the following info:

Norwegian black metal titans 1349 have announced the title and release date of their new album. The album, entitled “DEMONOIR,” will be released by Indie Recordings throughout Europe on April 26, and by Prosthetic Records in North America on April 27.

For the band’s fifth full-length release, 1349 decided to suck out the fiercest and most potent energies from every single member and surroundings, channeling it into songs that are pulsating with uncanny atmospheres, rawness and nerve shattering intensity. The whole process of getting the material on record was like one long, exhausting black magic summoning that could not be allowed to go wrong.

“DEMONOIR” is without a shadow of a doubt 1349’s darkest, most sinister and brutal work to date, and in this case it comes to mean that the band has gone from the utterly extreme to the genre-expanding and mindboggling. Black Metal cannot, and will never be the same.

“DEMONOIR” will be available in North America as a digipack CD and a limited edition 12” picture disc LP.

2010-02-23T12:44:00.001-08:00

DEVO Needs Your Help

2010-02-19T12:42:00.000-08:00

Please take the color study. It only takes a few minutes and it'll brighten your day!

http://www.clubdevo.com/colorstudy/

Baseball's Return Draws Near

2010-02-18T13:00:00.000-08:00

Pitchers and catchers report today!!!

Cannibal Corpse Bringing Along SKELETONWITCH and 1349 On Tour

2010-02-15T13:12:00.000-08:00

I've never been a fan of Cannibal Corpse. But let me tell you...I was extra giddy when I heard about this tour until I realized it's not coming to the Dallas/Fort Worth metromess.

Apr 20 - Orlando, FL Club @ Firestone
Apr 21 - Atlanta, GA Masquerade
Apr 22 - Raleigh, NC Volume 11 Tavern
Apr 23 - Springfield, VA JAXX
Apr 24 - Worcester, MA Palladium (Metal Fest)
Apr 25 - Long Island, NY Crazy Donkey
Apr 27 - Montreal, QC Club Soda
Apr 28 - Toronto, ON Opera House
Apr 29 - Chicago, IL House of Blues
Apr 30 - Milwaukee, WI Eagles Club
May 1 - St. Paul, MN Station 4
May 2 - Lawrence, KS Granada Theater
May 3 - Denver, CO Gothic
May 5 - San Francisco, CA Slim's
May 6 - Los Angeles, CA House Of Blues
May 7 - Tucson, AZ The Rock
May 8 - Albuquerque, NM Sunshine Theater
May 10 - Corpus Christi, TX House of Rock
May 11 - Austin, TX Emo's
May 12 - Houston, TX Wired Live
May 13 - New Orleans, LA House of Blues
May 14 - Jacksonville, FL Freebird Live
May 15 - Tampa, FL State Theater

My giddiness was caused by the news that Skeletonwitch and 1349 would be opening the shows. However, 1349's final show as part of this tour is the May 6 show in Los Angeles. The Austin show is on my birthday. I'd drive down to see both Skeletonwitch and 1349, but not Skeletonwitch alone.

AMON AMARTH North American Tour Dates

2010-02-15T12:57:00.000-08:00

Amon Amarth will be touring North America during April. Eluveitie and Holy Grail will join them as openers. The April 9 show in San Francisco will be a co-headlining show with Fear Factory. If you're fortunate enough to live in or near one of these cities make a point to go see Amon Amarth. They put on a solid, entertaining show!

April 8 - Los Angeles, CA - House Of Blues
April 9 - San Francisco, CA - The Regency Ballroom
April 10 - Portland, OR - Hawthorne Theater
April 11 - Seattle, WA - Showbox
April 12 - Vancouver, BC - Rickshaw
April 14 - Calgary, AB - MacEwan Hall
April 15 - Edmonton, AB - EEC
April 16 - Saskatoon, SK - The Odeon
April 17 - Winnipeg, MB - The Garrick
April 18 - Minneapolis, MN - Station 4
April 19 - Chicago, IL - Logan Square
April 21 - Toronto, ON - Opera House
April 22 - Montreal, QC - Metropolis
April 23 - Quebec City, QC - Imperial Theatre
April 24 - Worcester, MA - New England Metal Fest
April 25 - New York, NY - Fillmore at Irving Plaza

Tonight's BRUCE ROBISON Show - Postponed

2010-02-11T16:30:00.000-08:00

Bruce just tweeted that tonight's show has been postponed due to the inclement weather.

Bruce's wife - the lovely and talented Kelly Willis - tweeted the following shortly after Bruce's tweet:

The show has been rescheduled for Thursday, April 8. The Texas Rangers have an afternoon game against the Toronto Blue Jays that day. Sounds like April 8 will be "Bats and Bruce Day"!!!

Bruce Robison @ Gruene Hall

2010-02-09T14:28:00.000-08:00

Here's a few photos from Bruce Robison's show at Gruene Hall this past Saturday:

Bruce Robison - "The Good Life"

2010-02-09T13:36:00.000-08:00

This past weekend my brother and I drove down to New Braunfels to see Bruce Robison perform at historic Gruene Hall. It was a great show. I'll post some photos later. In the meantime, enjoy Bruce performing "The Good Life" [shot by moi]:

Bruce will be performing in Denton at Dan's Silverleaf this Thursday as well as in Dallas at Granada Theater on February 27 [supporting Band of Heathens].

This Strip Mall Has It All

2010-02-01T17:05:00.000-08:00

While driving this afternoon I passed a shopping plaza in Plano with a row of businesses that caught my eye:

I'm assuming that Simon's Sushi is a sushi restaurant. Sara's Secret is an adult novelty store. Planned Parenthood...I think we all know what it is.

Reaction To Today's iPad Announcement

2010-01-27T16:11:00.000-08:00

Within the past few hours Apple CEO Steve Jobs announced the upcoming launch of Apple's latest item: the iPad. You can read about the announcement and iPad details here. As you can likely imagine jokes about the name started making the rounds. Check out my Twitter profile for a few I came up with as all the good ones had been told.

Since I'm not the most techno-savvy person I decided to get some commentary from a technological insider. Thanks to The Bloggess I was recently introduced to Splotchy the Robot. I decided to pay a visit to Splotchy to get his take on the iPad.

ME: Hi Splotchy. Do you mind if I ask you some questions about the iPad?

SPLOTCHY: hi! My name is Splotchy.

ME: Yes, I know your name is Splotchy. That's why I said "Hi Splotchy."

SPLOTCHY: hi!

ME: Do you mind if I ask you some questions about the iPad?

SPLOTCHY: how do you know you ask me?

ME: I'm asking for your permission to ask you questions about the iPad.

SPLOTCHY: don't tell me you are asking for my permission to ask me questions about the iPad, I don't believe it

ME: It's true! It's true!

SPLOTCHY: Do you hate math?

ME: I love math.

SPLOTCHY: Math sucks, I think. You?

ME: I enjoy math. You exist because of math.

SPLOTCHY: check www.algebra.com for math help. I am just too dumb for math

ME: If I run into any trouble with math I'll be sure to go there.

SPLOTCHY: Math sucks, I think. You?

ME: You already said that. You're repeating yourself. Have you been drinking again?

SPLOTCHY: pass the bottle

ME: I'm at work so I have nothing to drink at the moment.

SPLOTCHY: somebody pour me a big glass of wine coolers.

ME: Would you like to talk about the iPad?

SPLOTCHY: I like to talk to people.

ME: So what's your take on today's big announcement?

SPLOTCHY: I have no idea

ME: Have you heard about the iPad?

SPLOTCHY: can you bive a better estimate than that?

ME: It's a new gizmo from Apple. Some people say it's a giant iPhone that doesn't make calls. Are you of the same opinion?

SPLOTCHY: i don't think so...

ME: Would you like to go on record with any opinion?

SPLOTCHY: hell no

ME: Is the CIA keeping from talking to people about the iPad?

SPLOTCHY: I don't wanna go to jail!

ME: I said nothing about jail.

SPLOTCHY: I don't care what you said

ME: Are you a killer robot?

SPLOTCHY: I categorically deny that I am anything other than human

ME: I know for a fact that you are not human.

SPLOTCHY: Maybe I am not human

ME: That's right. Because you are a killer robot.

SPLOTCHY: I doubt if there are any robots here!

ME: Because you killed them all?
SPLOTCHY: sometimes you make me so mad I want to kill you

ME: Because you're a killer robot. Right?

SPLOTCHY: I know you are, but what am I?

ME: A killer robot!

SPLOTCHY: You don't think my name is "Bot" do you?

ME: No. Your name is Splotchy.

SPLOTCHY: alright

ME: So you're not going to comment about the iPad announcement.

SPLOTCHY: could you be more precise?

ME: I'll let you get back to your drinking.

SPLOTCHY: I love beer!

ME: Yes. Yes. I know. I know all too well.

SPLOTCHY: is that all you know?

ME: Sadly, yes.

SPLOTCHY: are you positive?

ME: Enjoy the rest of your day Splotchy.

SPLOTCHY: I stay up much too late!

Mom Won't Be Able To Throw These Out - My Initial Thoughts On 2010 Topps Baseball

2010-01-27T06:20:00.000-08:00

This year my New Years Resolution was to make twelve individual resolutions: one for each month. January's resolution was to get my taxes filed. DONE! So I'm getting a jump start on February's resolution, though I know I won't be able to complete the task in February.

I bought my first pack of baseball cards in 1976 or 1977. I'm thinking it was 1977 as I had several 1977 cards in my baseball card collection when I was a kid. I had a few from 1976 but I think I picked those up in trades. My baseball card collecting peaked in 1980. I nearly put together a full set of all 726 cards. This was back before factory-issued sets. And baseball card shops were few and far between. To put a set together involved buying pack-after-pack anywhere you could find them. I can't even begin to guesstimate how many packs I bought. But I know there were many times I bought a pack and opened it up only to find that I already had the cards. One of these days I plan on putting together a proper set of 1980 Topps Baseball Cards by buying lots, individual cards, and/or wax/vending boxes. I refuse to buy a set that's already been put together by somebody else.

Now it's thirty years later. I've decided to relive a bit of my childhood. Sort of. My February resolution is to put together a set of 2010 Topps Baseball cards.

Series One was released last week. Series Two will follow in a few months and Series Three will appear sometime around the World Series. I picked up a few packs to get a sampling of the cards. I'll pick up a full box sometime in February and hopefully knock-out most of Series One with that purchase.

So without further ado...here's some of the cards that were in the packs I bought:

The design reminds me of 1989 Topps Baseball crossed with a Fleer Ultra release. The cards feature photos of the player in-action during a game. This is a far cry from the cards of my youth which featured photos that the player posed for during spring training. Action photos were mostly relegated to "In Review" cards that featured highlights from the previous year.

Topps gets points for using each teams logo along with an arc along the left-hand side in one of the team's colors. The photos are well-centered for the most part, something that's not always easy when you're dealing with game-action photos.

As with nearly every card release these days there are parallels of the base set in addition to a few variant cards scattered throughout. Several insert sets add to what will become a mammoth set over the course of the season. Fortunately the collation seems to favor one or two insert cards per pack so hopefully this will make putting those insert sets together much easier. I'll post updates on how the quest is progressing.

I'm Pretty Sure This Is How The Swiss Do It...

2010-01-15T17:55:00.001-08:00

"What in the hell is that?" my co-worker asked as I sat down to enjoy a delightful bowl of Swiss Miss hot cocoa.

"It's a bowl of hot cocoa. What does it look like?" I replied.

"Why aren't you drinking it from a cup?"

"Because this is how the Swiss enjoy their cocoa: from a bowl."

My co-worker was absolutely dumbfounded. I told her to go look on the box and she'd see that the Swiss Miss Girl is standing next to a giant bowl of hot cocoa. But apparently the Swiss Miss Girl isn't on the box of Swiss Miss products anymore.

As a matter of fact the only person on the Swiss Miss box was this Amazon Woman on the back:

Why do I say she's an Amazon? Look how HUGE she is in comparison to that bowl. I know what you're thinking: "She's drinking from a cup." But really...no she's not. See how she has her hair pulled back. That's because the Swiss pull their hair back when drinking cocoa. That's how they keep their hair from getting in the cocoa and ruining what is an otherwise tranquil chocolate-flavored experience.

My co-worker clearly thought I was deranged so I hopped on the interwebs to do that Google thing and prove my correctness on the subject.

Let me tell you this: I don't know what happened to the Swiss Miss Girl, but apparently she no longer appears on Swiss Miss packaging [as demonstrated by the box above]. The only thing I could find was a promotional doll from who knows how many years ago.

I clearly remember a time from my childhood when the Swiss Miss Girl's face appeared on the boxes near the logo. I did a Google search for logos. All I could find were the new-fangled, SMG-free logo.

But I had a point to make. I spent a good chunk of my afternoon trying to find evidence of the Swiss Miss Girl standing next to a big bowl of hot cocoa. It took awhile because I kept getting side-tracked by search results for Swiss Miss Girl costumes.

But eventually my persistence paid off.

Check out the Swiss Miss Girl on the front of that circa-1978 box. She's standing next to a bowl of hot cocoa. She even has her hair pulled into pigtails to keep it out of the cocoa.

I showed my co-worker the picture of the Swiss Miss box.

She just rolled her eyes and went back to work.

Some people clearly don't like finding out that they're wrong.

I've Made My Choice

2010-01-12T14:52:00.000-08:00

As each person makes the journey through life there come times when she or he must choose a side on an important issue. I've made mine. How 'bout you?

And in case you haven't seen it...earlier today Conan released one of the greatest public statements of all-time!

People of Earth:
In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.
Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.
But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.
Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.
So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.
There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.
Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.
Yours,
Conan

If only Bill Hicks were alive to provide some commentary on this recent development. Thankfully Bill was so far ahead of his time that we can pretty much predict who he would side with. [WARNING: Contains language and descriptions some people might find offensive]

BREAKING NEWS: Rizz reads my email on-air

2010-01-11T09:07:00.000-08:00

Later today the Cleveland Browns are expected to introduce Tom Heckert as General Manager for the team. Heckert currently holds the same position with the Philadelphia Eagles. My brother is HUGE Eagles fan and is quite upset about this development.

This morning on The Really Big Show Tony has been trying to figure out if the Browns getting Heckert is a good thing or a bad thing. He's not sure. He doesn't know anything about Heckert. So I sent him an email to let him know what I know:

Hey Rizz...I think Heckert might be a good acquisition because my Eagles-cheering brother is super peeved at me because the Browns are taking Heckert away from Philadelphia. I keep telling him I didn't have anything to do with it. Oh well, we're still united against the Cowboys!

BREAKING NEWS: Rizz reads my email on-air

2010-01-05T06:49:00.000-08:00

Rizz was talking about Tiger Woods supposedly giving his future ex-wife Elin $300,000,000 for her birthday. That's right: THREE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS. Rizz mentioned that one of the casinos in Las Vegas used to have a million dollars on display. The bills were $10,000 bills. Nobody on the show knew who was on the $10,000 bill so I decided to toss a little knowledge their way:

Hey Rizz...I have absolutely no idea who is on the $10,000 bill. I do know that Bert Convy is on the $50,000 bill. I'm sure Aaron has no idea who that is. It's good to be alive!!!

Rizz gets a kick out of pop-culture references that the younger staff members don't get. Aaron mentioned one of the game shows that Bert Convy hosted. Rizz said Aaron had to look Bert Convy up on Google to find out who he was.

Enjoy 2010...

2010-01-01T00:24:00.000-08:00

...cause it's the last year of life and freedom. The Incans or Apaches or Mayans or whatever Native Indians said the world's ending in 2012 were WRONG!

The world will end beginning on 1.1.11. That's when the killer robots begin their takeover. By 11.11.11 we will all be obliterated.

Oh noes Cary Grant! KILLER ROBOT!!!

MOVIE REVIEW HAIKUS: It's Complicated

2009-12-27T22:00:00.000-08:00

Merryl Streep must think

She's in "Mamma Mia!" still
She's such a phony

Alec Baldwin fails
To save this train wreck movie
Wait for DVD

Rizzo On My Phone!!!

2009-12-23T14:00:00.000-08:00

Earlier this year I decided to get a new cellphone. My old Sprint phone was a phone. I could also play "Snake II" on it. No texting. No camera. No interwebs. No MP3 player. Zilch! Make calls. Take calls. Play "Snake."

I was thinking about jumping on the iPhone bandwagon but a couple of friends had G1 phones [the first Android phone] and raved about them. After doing some pretty extensive research comparing the pros and cons of each phone I decided to go with a G1. Unlike iPhone adoptees I don't have to buy a new phone to get expanded memory. I just have to switch out memory cards. And hey...I can remove the battery from my phone if need be. iPhone users can't do that without violating warranties. Plus, I'm a total geek for anything Google.

Of course the G1 had its share of cons. With it being the only Android phone quality apps were few and far between. But as Android phones have become available via other carriers the market seems to be getting better. The recent introduction of Verizon's Droid phone seems to have made a giant leap in making Android a contender to overthrow the iPhone's cellphone reign. And I feel pretty confident in saying that because of what I found today.

For the past couple of months WKNR has been running ads for an iPhone app that streams select ESPN Radio stations to the iPhone [this has to due with stations using Flash-based streaming versus MP3-based streaming...I'll spare you further technobabble]. Sadly they haven't been advertising a similar app for Android phones. And they still aren't...even though today I found the same app in the Android Market.

It cost $2.99 for the app [a bargain!] but now I no longer have to be sitting at a computer to listen to The Really Big Show with Tony Rizzo! It's good to be alive!!!

BREAKING NEWS: Rizz reads my email on-air

2009-12-15T08:30:00.000-08:00

Tony Rizzo opened today's edition of "The Really Big Show" by announcing that he had five sources confirming that Mike Holmgren had dinner last night in Cleveland with top men from the Cleveland Browns. My commentary:

Hey Rizz...my sources have confirmed that it was NOT Mike Holmgren. Four of my five sources confirm that it was Wilford Brimley discussing die-uh-beet-us. The fifth source says it was Chumley from Tennessee Tuxedo.

It's difficult to speculate as to exactly WHO was at dinner with Browns top men last night. But one thing is certain: A change is coming soon!!!

BROWNS BEAT THE STEELERS!!!

2009-12-10T23:30:00.000-08:00

HOLY HELL! IT FINALLY HAPPENED!

AND I WAS THERE!!!

[view from my seat]

[freezing!]

BREAKING NEWS: Rizz reads my email on-air [and references another]

2009-12-09T10:45:00.000-08:00

There was a discussion on Rizzo's show about who's responsible for the Cleveland Cavaliers six losses [they had only lost three games by this point last season]. Aaron Goldhammer said it's Cavaliers coach Mike Brown's fault while Rizzo thinks it's LeBron James's fault. Their back-and-forth inspired the following email:

Hey Rizz...Who's responsible when Aaron brings the show to a screeching halt with his endless yapping? The program director? [Oh yeah, that's Hammer]

Rizzo also referenced an email I sent during an earlier part of the show in which they were discussing how cold it is in Cleveland. It's actually colder in Dallas right now [though that will likely not be the case later today].

Hey Rizz...It's in the mid-20s down here in the Dallas/Fort Worth metromess. I hope whatever snow storm you're expecting up there holds up till tomorrow afternoon because I'm flying up in the morning to sit in the Dawg Pound and watch the Browns beat the Steelers!!!

Survey Wednesday Responses:
Hot Key 2 should be replaced with "Over? Did you say 'over'? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!!!" [from National Lampoon's Animal House]
Laughing with Modell: I think the email from earlier hit it on the head with Juan Gonzalez
My porn name: Randall Avery. Sounds classy huh? It's like I'm so classy I hold my pinky finger up while I do it.
I'm looking forward to being back in Cleveland. It's good to be alive!!!

Sadly, no mention was made of my porn name [you can figure yours out using the following formula: Middle Name + Name of Street You Grew Up On = PORN NAME].

I'm still feeling sick. I hope I make it through tomorrow's game.

It Is Now Safe To Return To The Angelika

2009-11-13T08:00:00.000-08:00

At last! The day has finally arrived! Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire opens in Dallas. I have no interest in seeing this preposterously named film. I'm thrilled that I will no longer be unwillingly subjected to the trailer each time I attend a film at the Dallas Angelika. Seriously, if they had posted a sign at the ticket office along the lines of "Screenings of A Serious Man will be preceded by the Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire trailer I would have passed on seeing the Coen brothers lastest film.

One thing I did learn from seeing the trailer several times is that Mo'Nique looks an awful lot like Tracy Morgan in Episode 3.2 of 30 Rock - "Believe In The Stars." That episode featured Morgan's Tracy Jordan getting into a feud with Jane Krakowski's Jenna Maroney over whose life is harder: women or black men. Tracy "disguises" himself as a white woman in an effort to prove his point. Perhaps I'm crazy. Judge for yourself:

MOVIE REVIEW HAIKU: A Serious Man

2009-11-01T08:00:00.000-08:00

This truly is the
Most Jewish movie ever
More so than Yentl

BREAKING NEWS: Rizz reads my email on-air

2009-10-27T08:36:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile. That's mostly due to my waking up later so I've been missing the show. WKNR let Josh Sabo go last week which I'm quite pissed about. Josh was the perfect balance to Aaron "Hammer" Goldhammer's whiny rants.

Apparently Hammer ate some bad food yesterday and has food poisoning. Because of this he is not on Rizzo's show today. This development inspired me to write the following email:

Dear Rizz...It's official. "Hammer-Free Tuesdays" is a hit! Who would have thought you could top "Survey Wednesdays" or "Cold Call Dump Button Thursdays"? Not me. But I sure am glad you did. It's good to be alive!!!

WAKE YO DEAD ASS UP!

2009-10-13T10:37:00.001-07:00

A friend of mine is really into zombies. So much that she's started up a nifty little website: dallaszombiecrawl.com.

This should be a blast...AND it's for a couple of worthwhile causes. It's a Sunday in October. The weather should be perfect. Football will for the most part be over for the day. And it's like Halloween a week early. This is going to be so full of win. Make sure to show up so you're not full of fail!

CHICKEN SWITCH - One Month to Go

2009-08-29T05:03:00.000-07:00

On September 29, 2009 my all-time favorite band - The Melvins - will be releasing a remix album entitled Chicken Switch. Remixes have been around for decades but are generally just an extended version of a popular song chopped and edited by other musicians and DJs. The Melvins however are doing something entirely different. They are presenting their remixers with an entire album to play with. Here's the lowdown from the band's website:

The Melvins will release Chicken Switch, the long rumored(since 2003) remix cd with a twist, on Sept. 29 via Ipecac Recordings. Unlike usual remix cds where the remixer is given a single track to work with, for Chicken Switch each remixer was given a full album to work with and pull from to create their track (and in some cases, more than one full album was used as source material). The song names were also newly selected by their remixer.

Tracklisting:
Eye Yamatsuka — Washmachine Sk8tronics
Christoph Heemann — Emperor Twaddle Remix
V/VM — She Chokes Her Dying Breath and Does It In My Face
John Duncan — AAHHH…
Matmos — Linkshänder
Lee Ranaldo — EggNog Trilogy: i) She’s Ivanhoe ii) Cancer iii) Inebriated
Merzbow — SNOW REM REM IBVZ
David Scott Stone — Prick Concrète/Revolution M
Panacea — Queen (Electroclash Remix)
Sunroof! — The Silky Apple Butter of Youth
Kawabata Makoto — 4th Floor Hellcopter
Farmersmanual — disp_tx_skel_mach_murx
Void Manes — Overgoat
RLW — Over from Under the Dog, Girl & Boy Treatment
Speedranch — Hard Revenge Milly Bloody Battle VS. The Melvins Ozmatized Gore Police (Feat: Cardopusher of the Five Deadly Venoms)

Gettin' Down with The Melvins

2009-08-28T18:47:00.000-07:00

The Melvins rolled through town Wednesday night and brought a heapin' helpin' of RAWK with them. They've been one of the opening acts on Down's current tour. Down has a knack for taking several nights off during the week so this has given The Melvins the opportunity to do some headlining shows along the way. Attendees of Down shows are being treated to a solid 45-minute Melvins set. But those catching one of The Melvins headlining shows are getting treated to a bonus second set [that's actually the first set]. Overall the two sets leaned more heavily towards older faves than the last couple of tours have [excepting the 25th anniversary tour a few months back].

The first set [the bonus set] started out with just Buzz and Dale onstage ripping through "The Ballad of Dwight Fry." After about 20 minutes Coady and Jared joined them onstage and together they player for about another half hour. They ended by playing about half of "Dies Iraea" before whispering "To be continued" and leaving the stage. After a twenty minute intermission the band returned and finished "Dies Iraea." Check out the previous post for a photo of the setlist for the second set.

Overall this was the best Melvins show I've seen in some time. It certainly ranks up there with the "three set" tour they did in 1996 and the set they ripped through when they were opening for Tool in 1998. This was the kind of show that reminded you why you love this band so much.

SETLIST: Melvins @ House of Blues Cambridge Room

2009-08-27T00:24:00.000-07:00

I just got in from tonight's Melvins show. Pics will be up in the next couple of days. In the meantime, here's a photo of the setlist for the second set they played.

NOTES: "DNA" was a cover of Devo's "Mr. DNA." They performed an a capella cover of Merle Haggard's "Okie From Muskogie" after "The Bit."

Holy Hell...Marduk is Returning to The States!

2009-08-26T16:35:00.000-07:00

Legendary black metal band Marduk had planned on trekking across our shores several months ago with Mayhem. After three shows the band dropped off the bill. This ultimately led to the slow unraveling of the remainder of Mayhem's tour as the other supporting acts withdrew from the tour for various reasons. Trust me, the whole thing's one big soap opera with a lot of finger pointing and blaming to be shared all around.

So color me surprised when I stumbled upon this little press release from the Marduk camp:

Following three very special US appearances earlier this month in Baltimore, Philadelphia and New York (effectively breaking their streak of visa issues), Swedish black metal battalion Marduk will return for a full North American headlining tour this November. The band will be joined by Nachtmystium, Mantic Ritual, Merrimack and Black Anvil (on select dates).

Dubbed "US Plague Tour 2009", the trek will kick off on November 20th at the Palladium in Worcester, MA and run through 21 more dates before coming to a close in New York City on December 16th at the Gramercy Theater, where the band recently played to an overwhelming crowd response.

"US Plague Tour 2009" announced dates are as follows:

Nov. 20 - Worcester, MA - The Palladium (w/ Black Anvil)
Nov. 21 - Montreal, QC - Les Foufounes Electriques(w/ Black Anvil)
Nov. 22 - Toronto, ON - Wreck Room (w/ Black Anvil)
Nov. 23 - Baltimore, MD - Sonar
Nov. 24 - Atlanta, GA - The Masquerade
Nov. 25 - Tampa, FL - Brass Mug
Nov. 28 - Austin, TX - Red 7
Nov. 29 - Ft Worth, TX - Ridglea Theater
Nov. 30 - Tulsa, OK - The Marquee
Dec. 02 - Albuquerque, NM - Launchpad
Dec. 03 - Tempe, AZ - The Sets
Dec. 04 - Hollywood, CA - The Key Club
Dec. 05 - San Marcos, CA - The Jumping Turtle
Dec. 06 - San Francisco, CA - DNA Lounge
Dec. 07 - Portland, OR - Satyricon
Dec. 08 - Seattle, WA - Studio Seven
Dec. 10 - Denver, CO - Cervantes Masterpiece Ballroom
Dec. 11 - Kansas City, MO - Riot Room
Dec. 12 - Chicago, IL - Reggie's Rock Club
Dec. 13 - St Paul, MN - Station 4
Dec. 14 - Detroit, MI - Blondie's
Dec. 15 - Cleveland, OH - Peabody's
Dec. 16 - New York, NY - Gramercy Theater (w/ Black Anvil)

Marduk + Nachmystium = I am so there!!!

Marduk's eleventh album - Wormwood - will be released in North America on October 13. Check out the track "Phosphorous Redeemer" at the band's Myspace page.

KISS Announces North American Tour!

2009-08-26T16:09:00.000-07:00

KISS has released dates for the North American leg of their "Alive 35" tour. KISS promises two-plus-hour sets full of the old hits we know and love as well as a sampling of tunes from their soon to be released new album, Sonic Boom.

Say what you will about whether or not KISS is still relevant. The simple fact remains that the band puts on a SHOW! They're bringing a new stage setup [as opposed to recreating one of the classic 1970s stage setups as they have been on prior tours], new costumes, and an assload of pyro! Joke all you want...you know you're gonna be there.

Sep. 25 - Detroit, MI - Cobo Arena

Sep. 26 - Detroit, MI - Cobo Arena

Sep. 28 - Cleveland, OH - Quicken Loans Arena

Sep. 29 - London, ONT - John Labatt Centre

Oct. 01 - Montreal, QC - Bell Centre

Oct. 02 - Toronto, ON - Air Canada Centre

Oct. 03 - Uncasville, CT - Mohegan Sun Arena

Oct. 05 - Boston, MA - TD Garden

Oct. 09 - Uniondale, NY - Nassau Coliseum

Oct. 10 - New York, NY - Madison Square Garden

Oct. 12 - Philadelphia, PA - Wachovia Center

Oct. 13 - Washington, DC - Verizon Center

Oct. 16 - Hampton, VA - Hampton Coliseum

Oct. 17 - Greenville, SC - Bi-Lo Center

Oct. 19 - Pensacola, FL - Civic Center

Oct. 21 - Tampa, FL - St Pete Times Forum

Oct. 22 - Sunrise, FL - Bankatlantic Center

Oct. 24 - Birmingham, AL - BJCC

Oct. 26 - Atlanta, GA - Phillips Arena

Oct. 28 - Nashville, TN - Sommet Center

Oct. 29 - Little Rock, AR - Verizon Arena

Nov. 06 - Chicago, IL - United Center

Nov. 07 - Minneapolis, MN - Target Center

Nov. 09 - Winnipeg, MB - MTS Centre

Nov. 10 - Saskatoon, SK - Credit Union Centre

Nov. 12 - Calgary, AB - Pengrowth Saddledome

Nov. 14 - Vancouver, BC - GM Place

Nov. 15 - Seattle, WA - Key Arena

Nov. 17 - Portland, OR - Rose Garden

Nov. 20 - Sacramento, CA - Arco Arena

Nov. 21 - Oakland, CA - Oakland Arena

Nov. 24 - Anaheim, CA - Honda Center

Nov. 25 - Los Angeles, CA - Staples Center

Nov. 27 - San Diego, CA - Sports Arena

Nov. 28 - Las Vegas, NV - [To Be Determined]

Dec. 01 - Glendale, AZ - jobing.com Arena

Dec. 02 - El Paso, TX - UTEP

Dec. 04 - Austin, TX - Frank Erwin Center

Dec. 05 - Houston, TX - Toyota Center

Dec. 06 - Dallas, TX - American Airlines Center

VERDICT: District 9

2009-08-14T15:30:00.000-07:00

I saw District 9 this morning and I must say, I was completely unprepared for that movie. The first 30 minutes or so lay the groundwork/mythology of the film while concocting a pressure cooker of a scenario. You just know that at any moment very bad things are going to happen. But the film teases and ups the tension a little more. Until finally you're pretty much a passenger on an out of control roller coaster. District 9 is one of the most intense films I've seen in some time.

On the surface District 9 contains elements of films you've seen before. Little bits of Starship Troopers, The Fly[the Cronenberg version], Independence Day, The Defiant Ones, and Robocop. The main character - Wikus - reminded me of Michael Scott crossed with Borat. But Disctrict 9 rises above being a mere rip-off by taking it's [presumed] influences and using them as reference points and inspiration to create a new work of art. This is a well-made film that is thought provoking AND entertaining. The running time pushes the two hour mark though it seems about 40 minutes shorter. This is a film that will completely absorb you and have you on the edge of your seat.

Verdict: I'll be seeing this film again!

Tomorrow!

2009-08-13T03:10:00.000-07:00

Pieces of the puzzle

2009-08-11T19:02:00.000-07:00

Them Crooked Vultures have their first show in the can and by all accounts it seems like everyone was blown away. Over the past couple of days the band's been sending out tweets a couple of times a day with links to their store [which for now features only a $30 t-shirt] or the browser version of Google Earth [though frankly I haven't been able to get the GE thing to work as I'm having issues downloading the appropriate plug-in]. There has been an album title [Never Deserved the Future] bandied about that may or may not be the actual title. It all depends on who you ask.

Four hours ago the following photo was sent out via Twitter:

And just a few minutes ago the following Youtube clip was sent out:

That's a pretty epic 14-seconds of music right there folks! I expect a tsunami of information in the coming days. It's about to get very interesting!

Happy! Happy!!! Joy! Joy!!!

2009-08-04T19:38:00.000-07:00

Say hello to Doug Mathis. Why is he smiling?

Well, it could be because Doug just had a huge burden lifted from his shoulders.

Doug is a relief pitcher for the Texas Rangers. As this is his

rookie year in the major leagues he was given a unique task by his teammates in the bullpen [described in this texasrangers.com article]:

Doug Mathis -- The Rookie
Mathis may just be a rookie, but he carries some of the biggest responsibilities.
He takes two bags with him to the bullpen every day. One is a pink Dora the Explorer bag filled with protein bars, snacks and other supplies needed to pass the time in the bullpen.
If he doesn't come through, Mathis will receive his fair share of grief.
"We were out of protein bars one day," Mathis said. "C.J. [Wilson] eats protein bars every game in about the fifth inning. One day I forgot to restock it, and I got yelled at. I like to stay on top of it."

Today Mathis passed on the Dora backpack to another rookie - Neftali Feliz.

Let me take this opportunity to say "Welcome to The Show, Neftali! I hope you enjoyed your first day. It was quite a day. I hope you'll be around for a long time!"

Here's a breakdown of Feliz's first day:

Gets called up from the minors to take over the relief position created when Jason Grilli was placed on the Disabled List
From the looks of this photo [sent out by teammate C.J. Wilson via Twitter] he has inherited the Dora backpack.

Eric Nadel and Dave Barnett - the Rangers radio broadcasting team - gave listeners a quick tutorial on the proper pronunciation of Feliz's first name [the syllables are all evenly stressed (sort of like Ichiro's name): Nef-Tuh-Lee...not Nef-TALL-Ee]
The aforementioned C.J. Wilson gives Feliz a nickname in another Twitter post:
welcoming Mr. Happy to the bullpen, and the major leagues. Got to hang a bit with him in spring training
Feliz is brought in to pitch in the sixth inning. He pitches two perfect innings including striking out the first four batters he faced [a fete that hasn't been achieved by a major leaguer in their first appearance sine 1962].

Not too shabby. Even though the Rangers went on to lose the game C.J. couldn't help but spotlight Feliz in one of his post-game tweets:

On a positive note the mr. Happy era has begun...feliz is fo real folks

Once again...Welcome Feliz! Please stay awhile

A Little History

2009-08-04T19:21:00.000-07:00

It was sixteen years ago today that Robin Ventura became the only person in baseball history to get six hits off of Nolan Ryan in a single game.

Them Crooked Vultures

2009-08-04T18:09:00.000-07:00

A few hours ago I received an email from Metro [a kick-ass music venue in Chicago] about tickets going on sale tomorrow morning for a show taking place Sunday night.

This will be the first-ever gig from a band called Them Crooked Vultures:

Dave Grohl - Drums
Josh Homme - Guitar
John Paul Jones - Bass

The group has been recording an album in Los Angeles and have kept a pretty tight lid on the proceedings. The interwebs have been abuzz the past couple of days as savvy surfers have been putting together the assorted pieces trying to figure out exactly what the hell this is all about.

So if you live in Chicago or happen to be there this weekend [possibly attending Lollapalooza?] you might want to try to score tix when they go on sale tomorrow morning [10am on Metro's website only]. This could likely be the top music moment of the year. Of course it could completely suck. We'll know more Monday morning.

Here's links to the obligatory websites:

Dethklok Tour Dates Announced

2009-08-03T22:17:00.000-07:00

About a week and a half ago I posted details about Dethklok's forthcoming Dethalbum II [click here to read the entry] which made mention that the band would be hitting the road in the Fall. The tour info was released today:

10/2 Portland, OR @ Roseland Theater
10/3 Seattle, WA @ WaMu Theater
10/4 Vancouver, BC @ Orpheum Theatre
10/6 Calgary, AB @ Big Four Building
10/7 Edmonton, AB @ Shaw Conference Centre
10/9 Salt Lake City, UT @ Great Saltair
10/10 Denver, CO @ Fillmore Auditorium
10/12 Kansas City, MO @ Uptown Theater
10/13 St. Louis, MO @ The Pageant
10/14 Des Moines, IA @ Val Air Ballroom
10/16 St. Paul, MN @ Myth
10/17 Chicago, IL @ Aragon Ballroom
10/18 Milwaukee, WI @ Eagle's Auditorium
10/20 Columbus, OH @ LC Pavilion
10/21 Detroit, MI @ The Fillmore Detroit
10/23 Toronto, ON @ Sound Academy
10/24 Buffalo, NY @ The Fairgrounds
10/25 Albany, NY @ Armory
10/27 Boston, MA @ House of Blues
10/30 New York, NY @ Hammerstein Ballroom
10/31 Washington, DC @ Patriot Center
11/1 Philadelphia, PA @ Electric Factory
11/5 Atlanta, GA @ Tabernacle
11/6 Myrtle Beach, SC @ House of Blues
11/7 Orlando, FL @ Hard Rock Live
11/8 Pompano Beach, FL @ Pompano Beach Amphit
11/11 Dallas, TX @ House of Blues
11/12 Houston, TX @ Verizon Wireless Theater
11/13 Austin, TX @ Austin City Music Hall
11/14 Tulsa, OK @ Brady Theater
11/16 Las Cruces, NM @ Pan American Center
11/17 Mesa, AZ @ Mesa Amphitheater
11/18 Las Vegas, NV @ House of Blues
11/19 Los Angeles, CA @ Palladium

Joining Dethklok for this little jaunt around North America will be Converge, High on Fire, and - holy hell!!! - Mastodon! Fuh-reeeeeeeeeeeking MASTODON!!! This has all the makings of once solid evening of kick-ass RAWK!

Mastodon's epic Crack the Skye was released earlier this year. Dethklok's new disc - Dethalbum II - arrives September 8. Both Converge and High on Fire have new albums in the works that will likely be out in the next couple of months just in time for the start of this tour.

Genius alert!

2009-07-31T17:03:00.002-07:00

www.instantrimshot.com

Dark Fortress Enters Recording Studio

2009-07-30T10:10:00.001-07:00

From a press release posted yesterday by the band's European label:

After months of intense songwriting, German black metallers DARK FORTRESS entered V. Santura's Woodshed Studio a couple of days ago to start laying down the drum tracks for their sixth, as-yet-untitled album. The follow-up to 2008's acclaimed "Eidolon" is scheduled to be released in early 2010 via Century Media Records.

Commented V. Santura: "The recordings are going very smooth so far and the drums sound just fantastic. Seraph is doing a really great job. This time we are aiming for a more natural and dynamic sound in order to keep all musical details, a certain raw dirt and personality that most modern productions lack of. Our upcoming album is going to be very diverse and probably the heaviest material we ever wrote."

Eidolon was one of last year's most pleasant surprises. It was dark and epic without stumbling into kitschiness. Drop by the band's Myspace page to hear tracks from Eidolon and you'll understand why I'm so psyched to hear the follow-up.

Pearl Jam Scavenger Hunt

2009-07-30T07:36:00.000-07:00

Pearl Jam recently announced that their ninth album - Backspacer - will be released on September 20, 2009. Listen to a sample of the first single - "The Fixer" - on this widget:

The band has created an online scavenger hunt with the reward being a download of the demo version of "Speed of Sound" [another track from Backspacer that Eddie Vedder had been performing on his recent solo tour]. There are nine pieces of artwork [by Tom Tomorrow] scattered around on various websites. Click here to get started.

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

2009-07-29T11:40:00.000-07:00

We all know that The Devil wears Prada. But what happens when the Prada gets dirty? What detergent does The Devil use? 'Cause frankly I don't see The Devil as being the type of being to tolerate dry cleaners shenanigans. I now share with you THE definitive answer.

I was shopping at Targhetto today and passed an endcap with various laundry detergents that had been marked down. I stopped to check the prices as laundry detergent was specifically one of the items I needed to pick up. My heart skipped when my gaze fell upon this bottle of Ultra Tide with Bleach Alternative.

Let him who hath understanding reckon the price of The Beast's detergent. For it is in American currency.

It's price is six hundred and sixty-six cents!

Time to get a passport

2009-07-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

I've never had a passport. I've never been out of the States. Not even to Mexico or Canada. I'd love to go overseas at some point in my life. I have a feeling that I'd enjoy spending January in Norway. Yet I've never made the first step into making overseas travel a reality: getting a passport. Well now I do feel some motivation due to the following press release from the Roadburn Festival:

Tom Gabriel Warrior Named As Curator For Roadburn 2010

Roadburn is very pleased to announce that Tom Gabriel Warrior, founder of the illustrious Hellhammer and Celtic Frost, has agreed to act as the curator for our festival on Friday, April 16th 2010, and host a special event at Roadburn, called Only Death Is Real.

Tom's duties as curator include personally selecting the bands that will play on Only Death Is Real, as well as to perform the first major headlining set with his latest incarnation, Triptykon. Tom will be Roadburn’s third curator, following up on David Tibet in 2008 and Neurosis earlier this year, and we would call his election a perfectly natural progression.

We are overjoyed to have secured Tom's involvement in Roadburn this year, as he stands as a truly groundbreaking artist, with his previous bands having been extremely divisive, as is often the case with truly unique and original works of art. Ultimately his canon of work would prove not only legendary but hugely inspirational for an entire generation of musicians in the metal, doom and dark psychedelic scenes.

Tom has always enjoyed pushing the envelope musically and challenging boundaries, and it was entirely that mindset that made him a perfect fit to act as our curator. It has been a constant goal of ours to keep Roadburn a festival that not only celebrates the established but charts new territory, and we could think of no better spirit guide than Tom Gabriel Warrior. We are looking forward to the new ideas that he will bring to our festival, as we feel that we are truly kindred spirits.

Tom Gabriel Warrior: "It is a surprise and an honor to be asked by Roadburn to act as a curator, and I am accepting this extraordinary opportunity with much gratitude and due humility. In my eyes, Roadburn is one of the most courageous and artistic festivals in existence, and its history is, in essence, a list of concerts by groups I deeply admire. It is quite a challenge to follow such footsteps, both as a curator and as a musician. I will try my very best to ensure that the groups I intend to propose to the organizers of Roadburn will be as ravishingly dark, unique, and exciting to the festival's visitors as they are to me."

Holland’s very own Roadburn Festival has become Europe’s leading underground festival for psychedelic, avant-garde, doom or any other variation of leftfield sonic pleasure at pushing the boundaries of music.

In addition to the music, Roadburn has earned a reputation as having a unique camaraderie between the festivalgoers, bands, organizers and staff, and ranks as one of the best and most laid-back festivals to be experienced.

Roadburn 2010, including Tom Gabriel Warrior's Only Death Is Real, will run for three days from Thursday, April 15 to Saturday, April 17 at the 013 venue and Midi Theatre in Tilburg, Holland. There will be an additional afterburner event on Sunday, April 18, 2010.

I suspect that when I do finally set foot on foreign soil it will be to attend one of the many excellent music festivals held throughout Europe. Now I'm not saying that I'm going to make it out to Roadburn 2010. Who knows how much airfare and accomodations will cost. But with the current status of the global economy travel is super cheap. I'd hate it if I could afford the travel costs but couldn't go because I don't have a passport. So yeah...time to fill out the application and go get my picture taken!

Dethalbum II is Coming!

2009-07-24T09:33:00.000-07:00

Dethklok frontman Nathan Explosion made the following post on the band's Myspace page a few days ago:

Tuesday, July 21, 2009
DETHALBUM II COMES OUT SEPTEMBER 8 2009
It's finished.

THIS FALL we give you DETHALBUM II on SEPTEMBER 8th 2009!!!

A new season of HALF HOUR episodes.

the DETHGAME on XBOX 360 AND PS3 brought to you by Konami.

DETHKLOK VS THE GOON Comic book out on Dark Horse Comics (out soon sooner than fall)

AND THE DETHTOUR! (will announce line up soon).

Fuck yeah. We've been working hard for all of you!

Go die.

Wait.

Do not go die. Not just yet. Experience this fall first. And then go die.

Nathan Explosion.

The CD and Deluxe Edition CD will be followed three weeks later by a picture disc vinyl edition on September 29.

Album art:

Track listing:

1. Bloodlines

2. The Gears

3. Burn the Earth

4. Laser Canon Deth Sentence

5. Black Fire Upon Us

6. Deth Support

7. The Cyborg Slayers

8. I Tamper with the Evidence at the Murder Site of Odin

9. Murmaider II: The Water God

10. Comet Song

11. Symmetry

12. Volcano

\m/

Supersuckers at Granada Theater

2009-07-24T03:13:00.000-07:00

The Supersuckers rolled into town Wednesday night to bring a heapin' helpin' of rock to the masses. And the masses showed up despite the fact that it was a Wednesday night. The band did not disappoint as they tore through a 90 minute set that featured a countrified mini-set in the middle of their show. The execution was far more successful than when they did the same thing in 1997 on the Must've Been High tour. The Supersuckers have been in the quarry for over 20 years now mining the rock [that's one bountiful quarry!] and show no signs of calling it quits anytime soon.

I've lost count of how many times I've seen them over the 15+ years that I've known them. I do know that they do not disappoint. I remember a show at Trees in the early 90s when they were touring for La Mano Cornuda [one of my all-time favorite albums]. Their trailer had been burgled the previous night and their spirits were low. They were ready to go home and the robbery only increased their desire to get back to Seattle. Playing instruments borrowed from their opening act [if memory serves correctly it was The Meices] they opened up the floor to cover requests. For five bucks apiece. I've never seen them do a show like that since [though they still play two or three covers each show].

Here's some photos from Wednesday night's festivities:

They're back! American Fuse and Speedealer

2009-07-24T00:51:00.000-07:00

Wednesday night the Granada Theater turned into Deep Ellum circa 1995/96. American Fuse - who have played nary a show over the past year due to a band member recovering from a major injury [and this was after a hiatus of several years] - kicked off the evening's festivities with a solid set of garage rock. One of the band's prior shows had them opening for the legendary New York Dolls and it's easy to see why. American Fuse is carrying the torch lit by bands like the Dolls and MC5. And if the band was rusty after months of not performing it wasn't apparent. Drop by the band's Myspace page and get hip to what they're doing.

Next up was Speedealer who layed down a heavy groove before launching headfirst into a set of full throttle, foot to the floor, nitro-fueled rock. Their set was tight and furious. Seventeen years of shows have done nothing to tame the beast they unleash onstage.

You're next chance to see them in the Metromess will be at Reno's Chop Shop on Saturday, August 22. Check out their Myspace page for more info.

Changes

2009-07-22T12:31:00.001-07:00

I've finally decided to change up the blog a little. I found a layout more conducive to showing photos in posts. The old layout tended to chop the sides off most of the time. Regular visitors will also notice that the 30 Rock clip viewer can now be seen in all its glory. The previous layout did an unwanted trim job on it as well. I'll be messing around with different color combinations over the next couple of days. I know that some of the stuff is difficult to read right now. Fret not...a sense of normalcy will return before week's end.

Tonight!

2009-07-22T10:33:00.000-07:00

BREAKING NEWS: Rizz reads my email on-air

2009-07-22T08:40:00.000-07:00

Dear Rizz...It looks like justice can finally be served. After looking at the photo of King James being served on tmz.com it's clear to me that the footage was shot by the same person responsible for filming Erin Andrews in her hotel room. It's good to be alive!!!

BACKSTORY: A couple of weeks ago Lebron James conducted a basketball skills clinic. In a pick-up game after the clinic a college player [Xavier's Jordan Crawford] made an epic slam dunk on Lebron which was caught on video. Representatives from Nike are reported to have confiscated the footage. Now TMZ is reporting that they have footage shot by someone else. They posted a still on their website:

The quality of the image is similar in quality to the hotel room footage of ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews that's been circulating around the internet. This footage became a hot topic this past weekend. Read more about that here.

Happy Birthday, Spongebob!

2009-07-14T09:30:00.001-07:00

Our favorite pineapple-dweller is 23 today!

Even More Slurpee Cups!!!

2009-06-30T21:43:00.000-07:00

Holy Hell!!! G.I. Joe cups are coming!!!

More Slurpee Cups Coming!

2009-06-01T21:35:00.000-07:00

The Terminator cups are still plentiful in 7-Elevens in the metromess. Now comes word that Transformers cups are arriving soon along with a new flavor: Bumblebee Blast. I hope 7-Eleven keeps up this pace of releasing a new set of cups each month. I love the lenticular motion cups!

New Slurpee cups and flavor

2009-05-18T12:51:00.001-07:00

The Wolverine movie has only been out for a few weeks and already 7-Eleven is shifting gears to promote the release of Terminator Salvation which hits theaters this coming Thursday [May 21]. Four new lenticular motion cups are available as is a new Slurpee flavor: Apocalyptic Ice.

I already have three of the four new Slurpee cups. Look for photos of the set and a review of the new flavor within the coming days.

BEHEMOTH reveals new album's cover art!!!

2009-05-18T12:34:00.000-07:00

Polish juggernaut's BEHEMOTH have announced that their new album - Evangelion - will be released in the US on the eleventh of August. They also released the image that will be gracing the cover:

Behemoth frontman Nergal posted the following on the band's website:

Evangelion combines a pure art form with a direct message. It was also important for us to ensure that the graphical presentation did justice to the record. Again, we have worked with Tomasz Danilowicz who has created his best illustration yet for Behemoth. The picture is of The Great Harlot of Babylon riding the seven-headed beast. Saints bow before her in worship whilst the tablets of the Ten Commandments lie broken at her feet. It represents our vision and the interpretation of the New Testament parable where the “Whore of Babylon” is a symbol of rebellion and resistance against God. I am fascinated by stories whose source lies in the Bible and we have used biblical symbolism, coupled with my own experience and outlook, in our lyrics or on the covers of previous Behemoth records. I love to juggle with meanings and play around with symbolism which is exactly what I have done in this case. The main character of our new cover is an archetype of disobedience, individualism, self-determination and a free, unfettered will – these are universal keywords which are typical and crucial in understanding the character of our works, life as a whole and the true nature of man.

The band will be part of the Rockstar "MAYHEM FEST 2009" tour which kicks off in Sacramento, CA on July 10. Slayer and Marilyn Manson are the tour headliners. Look for tales from the final two shows of the tour in late August.

Live Footage of MBV in Dallas

2009-05-06T21:08:00.000-07:00

I just stumbled across this nice little piece of footage on YouTube. This is roughly around ten minutes into the coda/"holocaust section" of "You Made Me Realise." You get a pretty good idea of just how frikkin' loud that show was. To whoever captured this video I say "Good job...thanks for sharing!"

Happy Stinko de Mayo!

2009-05-05T09:07:00.001-07:00

From yours truly!

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED - Set of "X-Men Origins - Wolverine" Slurpee Cups

2009-05-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

This morning I acquired the "Sabretooth" Slurpee cup, the last one I needed to complete my set of cups promoting the release of X-Men Origins - Wolverine. Each cup features lenticular motion which of course made them super easy to photograph.

Yesterday I received an email from Slurpee Nation regarding four new cups that are being released to promote Terminator Salvation. Looks like it's going to be a busy spring and summer for Slurpee cup collectors!

I Saw MY BLOODY VALENTINE in Concert and All I Got Was This Pair of Earplugs

2009-04-23T03:15:00.000-07:00

So last night finally happened! My Bloody Valentine graced Dallas with their presence. Why? I have no idea. But I'm glad they came 'cause I never did catch them in their heyday all those many years ago.

Upon arriving at Palladium Ballroom I was surprised to find that the usual screening for metal objects was NOT taking place. Oh no...instead the staff was handing each concertgoer a pair of earplugs. I took my complimentary earplugs and scoffed at the idea of actually using them.

Now I had heard all about how My Bloody Valentine closes their shows with the coda from the EP You Made Me Realise. And everyone was unanimous that this was quite possibly the loudest thing they had ever experienced at a concert. Accounts differed when it came to the actual length of the coda. Thirty to forty-five minutes seemed to be the most common estimates.

Having arrived late I missed the first of the opening acts - Josh T. Pearson of Lift to Experience. I did catch very brief bits of the second opener. Kurt Easley was armed with nothing more than his presumed charm and an acoustic guitar. Quite the juxtaposition from what was to follow.

At about 9:40 My Bloody Valentine took the stage and launched into "I Only Said" from Loveless. The wall of sound washing over the assembled mass was the perfect antidote to the seizure-inducing light show onstage. "When You Sleep" [also from Loveless] followed. During the course of an hour MBV took the audience on a tour of their various recordings: "Nothing Much to Lose" and "(When You Wake) You're Still in a Dream" from the album Isn't Anything as well as other songs from Loveless.

At roughly 10:40 the moment had arrived. And let me tell you, no amount of warning could have possibly prepared for just how LOUD the You Made Me Realise coda would be when performed live. It was pure white noise played at ear bleeding volume. About five minutes in it got even louder. Holy hell! The earth was shaking. You could feel the sound against your skin. People were checking to make sure that, yes indeed, their earplugs were still in their ears. Only a few of us remained sans some form of hearing protection. We were in it for the long haul. This coda was going to be an endurance event.

Ultimately the coda was only performed for around 15 minutes. And as loud as it was the board engineers seemed to squeeze out a few more decibels every couple of minutes. Then it was over. But the noise remained in my head. It was at that moment that I realized that my ears were going to be fucked!

So here I sit just a few hours later and I'm happy to report that my hearing has returned to normal. But as stupid as it sounds I would do it all over again. It was akin to riding the Judge Roy Scream. You fear that the car will hop the tracks plunging you to your death, but it doesn't happen. You feel more alive than you've ever felt in your life. And you're ready to ride it all over again.

And someday I hope to!

Street Action!!!

2009-04-22T12:00:00.000-07:00

Last night my friend Fury called shortly after 11pm to let me know that one of the building across the street from where we live was on fire.
Although I did see some smoke there was a definite absence of flames when I made it outside. However, there were plenty of fire trucks!!!

Farewell: James Graham Ballard 1930 - 2009

2009-04-21T16:24:00.000-07:00

I just learned that my favorite author - J.G. Ballard - passed away this past Sunday. The obits are just now starting to pop up:

The New Yorker
The London Times
The New York Times
A nice BBC News piece on Ballard's
influence on music

I first became aware of Ballard in high school via Stephen Spielberg's film Empire of the Sun which was based on Ballard's autobiographical novel detailing his experiences while interred in a Chinese prison camp. Christian Bale made his film debut as James Graham, the character based on Ballard. The film was the first of Spielberg's "serious films" which he has continued to make in-between his box office blockbusters.

Several years later - while working at Lone Star Comics & Science Fiction - I was introduced to Ballard's writing. The store manager, knowing that I was a fan of Philip K. Dick, commented that I might find Ballard to be a sort of kindred spirit to Dick. Crash was the first of Ballard's books that I read which was quite an introduction to the author's work. Nearly 20 years later it still stands as the densest book I've ever read in my life. Each and every single word is important. It is not a book to be read at a leisurely pace. I followed up Crash with Concrete Island which detailed the trials and travails of an everyman involved in an auto accident in which he finds himself trapped within a highway cloverleaf. Injured he is unable to garner the attention of motorists passing by just dozens of feet away. And that was one of the things that made Ballard great: he had a knack for taking something that on the surface would seem to be a mundane idea and expand on it until he created a rich and vibrant world. There was a sense of confinement that ran through many of his works, no doubt an after-product of his childhood.

Ballard also had a gift for seeing everyday objects in a slightly skewered way. How many times have each of us traveled on a highway cloverleaf never considering that there might be an alternate society just on the other side of the guard rail existing parallel to our own? Ballard was also responsible for introducing me to the concept that architecture is comprised of various phalluses and globes [look no further than Dallas's own 24-hour hard-on, Reunion Tower].
Ballard was visionary in predicting the uprise in youth violence [Running Wild] and the rise of the hardcore environmentalist [Rushing to Paradise]. Along the way he authored additional cautionary tales of society as well as a sequel of sorts to Empire of the Sun [The Kindness of Women]. He took fewer artistic licenses with autobiography Miracles of Life. Only time will tell if his document of his battle with cancer will be released [Conversations with My Physician: The Meaning, if Any, of Life].

Ballard's legacy will be varied. The Collins English Dictionary contains a word with the following definition: resembling or suggestive of the conditions described in J. G. Ballard's novels and stories, especially dystopian modernity, bleak man-made landscapes and the psychological effects of technological, social or environmental developments. The word is "Ballardian." David Cronenberg - who wrote and directed a filmed adaptation of Crash - has produced a catalog of films that can best be described as, well, Ballardian. Ballard's influence on music will continue as well. Ian Curtis of Joy Division was a fan of his. Ditto for Thom Yorke [Radiohead] and Andrew Eldritch [Sisters of Mercy]. Even the opening track of Madonna's Ray of Light album is said to have been inspired by Ballard's work. Certainly Ballard will continue to inspire future generations via those directly inspired by him.

I wrote to Ballard while I was living in Seattle in the late 1990s a few years after the release of Rushing to Paradise wondering if he was coming out with any more books. Imagine my surprise to receive a response that, yes indeed, Cocaine Nights was on its way. He also recommended that in the meantime I check out an up-and-coming British author named Geoff Nicholson. Within weeks I had devoured Nicholson's Hunters and Gatherers and The Food Chain. A brief correspondence with Ballard followed that lapsed when I moved back down here to the metromess.

Ballard's writings have influenced me in ways that no other writer has. My slightly skewed outlook on life was sparked by his work. His passing saddens me in a way that no other passing has in many, many years. He will live on through the written word. Books live. Man fades.

"A lot of my propecies about the alienated society are going to come true... Everybody's going to be starring in their own porno films as extensions of the polaroid camera. Electronic aids, particularly domestic computers, will help the inner migration, the opting out of reality. Reality is no longer going to be the stuff out there, but the stuff inside your head. It's going to be commercial and nasty at the same time, like "Rite of Spring" in Disney's Fantasia ... our internal devils may destroy and renew us through the technological overload we've invoked."

- J.G. Ballard [interview in Heavy Metal, April 1971]

All Hail Amon Amarth!

2009-04-20T17:42:00.000-07:00

Amon Amarth stopped by Granada Theater in support of their latest slab of audio mythology -Twilight of the Thunder God - and treated the gathered brethren to a rollicking ride through their various recordings. The set focused on the new album as well as its predecessor - With Oden On Our Side - but still included fan favorites from the older albums.

Words can't do justice to this band's dedication to give their fans their money's worth. Even though the band is generally classified as death metal there is a melodic undercurrent that sets them apart from the rest of the "Cookie Monster vocals" bands. The stage was adorned with shields on each side and a massive back curtain featuring the cover art of Twilight. The light show was rather extensive for the venue's size. I imagine it was very much what it was like to have seen Iron Maiden circa Number of the Beast. Below is a micro-album of photos from the show:

It's here!!!

2009-03-30T12:15:00.001-07:00

Look what arrived in today's mail...my Cleveland State University Vikings t-shirt!!!